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  Maybe I wasn’t meant to be a writer. Maybe I was meant to pick a passionless job that guaranteed stable finances. Maybe the extent of my writing career was meant to encompass only fluff pieces pertaining to dog grooming and bicycle repairs. My mind was refusing to accept that, though. If that were all I was destined for, I would be satisfied by it, right? And I was anything but satisfied with the blank page my eyes had become so accustomed to.

  Every time the thought crossed my mind to do something else, I never could go through with it. I wanted to write more than anything. I wanted to change the world, even if it was just for one person. I wanted to provide someone with inspiration, just as the words that had helped me along the way had done.

  “So even if I get another job, which is looking more and more likely since we only have a couple sessions left, I’ll still be writing. That will still be what I want.”

  Sherri ended the meeting after that, either because I was a lost cause or because it was so pretty outside. I wasn’t sure.

  Ben picked me up right where he’d dropped me off. We grabbed food on the way home, and while he studied, I stared at a blank page.

  My journalism assignment was meant to be about opposing forces. Originally, I’d thought it’d be pretty simple. I saw contradiction all around me. The world was so beautiful. The sunset, the way the light flickered through the green leaves, or seeing the innocence of a child in all its glory. It was beautiful. Then I thought about death, and crime, and murder, and all the bad things and the hardened hearts of everyone around us, and I wondered how the world kept spinning with so much contradiction.

  It was easy to sit there and see the good and the bad at war in our world, even inside ourselves, but my page was still blank, because I didn’t know what words to use to describe the conflict.

  “Do you have a lot of homework this weekend?” Ben asked, sprawled out on my bed with a civil engineering textbook open in his lap.

  “Nope. My weekend is blissfully clear.”

  “I’m going home to Connely. I was hoping you’d come with me,” he suggested, putting down his book.

  “And meet your parents?” I asked, already nervous. That was a big step, right? A step toward commitment? A real future?

  “And my sister, and brother-in-law, and niece.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but my mom’s been asking about you, so I thought—”

  “She knows about me?” I interrupted.

  “Of course she does.” Hurt registered on his face. “You haven’t told your parents about me?”

  “Um, not really.” I regretted the words as soon as I saw his face fall. It wasn’t that I was embarrassed of Ben—not at all—but I’d never brought a boy home, and I was embarrassed that my mom was going to have a field day when I told her.

  “My birthday is in two weeks,” I told him. “Usually, Jules, Tay, and I go down and stay with my parents for the weekend. You should come, too.”

  “It’s okay, Lex. You don’t have to invite me just because I invited you.” I was crumbling from the hurt in his voice. “That’s not why I asked.”

  “I want you to come,” I insisted. I was pretty sure those sad eyes could get me to do anything, although I wasn’t planning on sharing that information with him. I couldn’t afford to give him that kind of ammunition. “My birthday is about people who are important to me, and you are important to me.” His smile was worth the embarrassment of my first parents-meeting-boyfriend experience—at least I hoped so, because it was sure to be embarrassing if the conversation I had with my mom after Ben left for class was any indication.

  “Hey Mom.”

  “Hey my Lex girl.” Her joy was evident. Sometimes it just helps hearing your mother’s voice. “Two more weeks!” she said, already excited about my upcoming birthday. She still was not quite used to going so long without seeing me. It had been a solid two months since I’d made the trip home, the longest I’d ever gone without visiting since it was just an hour drive and because, you know, she did my laundry and fed me and gave me cash. Weekends with Ben probably had a lot to do with my newfound desire to stay close to campus.

  “About that,” I started, but she interrupted me, already worried.

  “You’re not canceling are you?” I could practically feel her sadness through the phone. Good thing I was about to make her one happy mama.

  “No, no. I’ll be there with Jules and Tay.” I paused, hearing her relief in her exhalation. “And Ben.”

  Silence. Slow, awkward silence.

  “Oh, my. You’re finally doing it! You’re bringing a boy home!”

  Her excitement was cringe-worthy. I was so glad I’d waited until Ben left to have this conversation. I would have died of embarrassment. Seriously died. The headstone would have said something like, Here lies Lex, so awkward even her mother thought she’d die alone.

  “Oooh, I can’t wait! Is he in school with you? What is he studying? How old is he? What does he look like?”

  She was out of breath, and I couldn’t hold in my giggle. “He’s my age, and a senior. He’s studying engineering, and he looks…” How was I supposed to answer that? “Um, he looks like I’m going to spend the rest of my life comparing everyone else to him.”

  “Oh, I bet he’s a hunk.” I should have been worried that my mom had just used the word hunk, but I could only laugh.

  “Yes, that’s Ben. So, don’t embarrass me, okay? It’s still pretty early stages and I’m still trying to pretend I’m cool all the time.”

  “Why would I embarrass you?” she asked, voice suddenly serious.

  “Because you seem to get enjoyment out of it?” That made her laugh.

  “Oh, I do not.” You could tell by the laughter in her voice that she did enjoy it. Very much.

  CHAPTER 27

  THE HOUR DRIVE to Connely made my stomach hurt.

  “I’m nervous,” I told Ben, wringing my hands in my lap.

  “Don’t be nervous. They’re going to love you.” Untangling my fingers, he held one hand over the console in his truck.

  “What if they don’t? What if they don’t think I’m good enough or something? What if I spill my drink at dinner? What if your dad hates me? What if your mom hates me? What if they all hate me?” I cried, bordering on hysterical. “What if they’ve secretly arranged for you to marry someone else, and I’m just getting in the way?” I’d watched too much TV.

  His smile showed his lack of apprehension. “If you spill your drink, I’ll clean it up. There is no way they could possibly hate you, and if they’ve set up an arranged marriage for me, I’ll demand my father provide the fattest goat to your father. They will probably think you’re way too good for me. They’re going to be just as impressed with you as I am. You’re amazing, and they’ll see that. They know how important you are to me. They’d never show you anything different.”

  “How important am I to you?” I asked, trying not to let my smile show just how happy that made me.

  “If you have to ask, I haven’t done a very good job as your boyfriend.”

  “No. No, you have,” I assured him, “but I like words. I like hearing it.”

  “You mean the world to me, Lex, and I’ll remember to tell you more often.”

  I relaxed a little after that, but the nervousness set in again when we pulled into the winding driveway leading to his house. Tall oak trees edged the gravel drive. The house itself was beautiful. Large, white columns lined the front porch of a two-story house with white siding and black shutters. It was an older house that had been maintained well. It was modest, but you could tell Ben’s family wasn’t suffering from money problems, either. He pulled his truck up to the front porch, squeezing my hand before hopping out to open my door.

  He didn’t let go of my hand as he lead me into the foyer to greet a petite woman in her fifties. Her makeup was perfect and every hair was in place. She probably would have been intimidating if she wasn’t grinning fro
m ear to ear.

  “Hey Mom.” He kissed her cheek. “This is Lex Baxter. Lex, this is Julie Jacobs, my mother.”

  “It’s lovely to meet you, dear. Benjamin has not stopped talking about you. He’s been going on and on for months.” Cue the embarrassment.

  “Easy, Mom. You’ll scare her off already. She’s barely made it in the door.”

  “Oh, nonsense.” She smiled. “The girl deserves to know how infatuated you are with her.” Her wink made my cheeks heat. Instead of replying, he laced his fingers with mine and led me into the kitchen from the foyer. I had to work very hard not to smile at the rosiness of his own cheeks.

  I’d have been lying if I’d said his mom’s words didn’t make my heart tingle, just a little. I could only hope it was something like an artery rupturing and not the tingles of a heart falling a little more in love.

  White cabinets lined the dark walls, and the large oak table in the middle of the room could seat six or seven easily. It matched the rest of the house. It was beautiful and cozy in a way that reminded me of my own house, which my mom spent a lot of time decorating and redecorating.

  “Your home is beautiful,” I said, finally remembering my manners.

  “Thank you. It certainly stays a lot cleaner without this one around to mess it up.” She elbowed Ben in the ribs as she passed. He feigned being hurt, causing her to laugh.

  “Be careful, Mom. You’ll make Lex think you don’t miss me.”

  “I used to think kids were the biggest blessing,” she told me, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Then they gave me grandkids.”

  Mr. Jacobs, who’d just walked in the back door, cackled at his wife’s joke, stopping to plant a kiss on her cheek.

  “Geez, Mom! Where is the love?”

  Ben’s dad came around the bar we were seated at, shook his hand, and then proceeded to wrap him in a one-arm hug.

  “Good to see you, son.”

  “You too, Dad. This is Lex.”

  I stood up and stuck my hand out, which he ignored. He wrapped me in a hug, much bigger than the one he’d given Ben, and squeezed tight. I could see Ben smiling over his shoulder.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Jacobs.” I blushed when he let me go.

  “None of this Mr. Jacobs. You can call me Tom, or Dad. No mister.” Julie giggled from the other side of the kitchen, and Ben’s expression was flustered. Did he just tell me to call him…Dad? It instinctively made me wonder what Ben had told them. Had I misjudged his aversion to commitment? Were his parents just trying to make me feel welcome?

  “Alright, guys, do you want her to come back or not?” His hand reached for mine, and he led us upstairs to his room, leaving his amused parents behind.

  “Dinner’s at six thirty,” his mom called behind us. “Your sister is coming!”

  The bedroom he’d brought me to was clearly his, though it seemed his mom had done some redecorating since he’d gone to college. Pictures from various ages stared back at me. Ben playing T-ball. Ben playing baseball. Ben at prom. Ben at graduation. Ben with his parents. Ben with his sister on her wedding day. Ben holding his newborn niece.

  I was leaning against the dresser taking it all in when he came to stand in between my legs. “Well, I think it’s safe to say they don’t hate you.” The faint redness still hadn’t completely disappeared from his cheeks.

  “Really?” I asked self-consciously.

  “Lex, they’re ecstatic that you’re here. Can’t you tell?”

  “Maybe they’re just being polite?” I offered, only slightly serious.

  “It’s you, baby. They can’t help it.” He kissed my temple, tracing a path down to my lips, and that was how we spent the next hour until his sister and her family arrived for dinner.

  I liked them immediately.

  “When Ben was five, he ate a quarter, a nickel, two dimes, and three pennies. He had a habit of eating things he found. Anything—dog food, Barbie shoes, whatever. We thought they’d just pass normally.”

  Ben groaned, Julie snickered, and Katie sat with a wide grin on her face.

  “Well, after a day or two, his stomach started really bothering him and he still hadn’t passed the change.”

  “Seriously, don’t continue,” Ben begged beside me. “I’m pretty sure you promised you’d never tell this story again, anyway.”

  “I did no such thing.” Katie beamed across from him.

  “We took him to the doctor,” his dad filled in, “and it turned out the change had impacted in his bum.” He barely got the sentence out before he had to cover his mouth, failing to stifle his laugh.

  “That was a serious medical issue—I can’t believe you guys are making fun of me.” Ben’s cheeks were reddened in embarrassment. I snickered quietly, trying not to draw his attention.

  “Oh, it wasn’t funny at the time.” His mother chuckled.

  “I don’t know about that,” Tom disagreed. “The nurse, poor thing, had to stick her hand in there and feel around. Ben cried, kept saying over and over, ‘That’s mine! Leave that alone! That’s mine!’”

  Katie was in hysterics across the table, and I gripped my stomach, struggling to breathe. No one was making an effort to restrain their laughter, and pretty soon, Ben’s pout turned into a smirk.

  My hand found his under the table and he turned to me. “Traitor.” I wiped my eyes with my free hand, trying to tamp down the laughter that kept bubbling up. I leaned in and kissed his cheek, forgetting we were sitting in front of his entire family. Ben noticed my eyes widen, and when I looked down, he squeezed my hand, bringing my eyes up to meet his. I wasn’t usually one for public affection, especially not in front of people I was trying to impress.

  He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to him, and kissed my temple. It was soft and sweet, and out of the corer of my eye, I saw Julie mouth, “Aw.” I closed my eyes, willing the tinge in my own cheeks to fade.

  “I can’t wait for the family to get here tomorrow and see you two.” His mother beamed across the table as if she hadn’t just made my heart stop.

  “Family?” I asked Ben, not even trying to hide the fear in my voice.

  “We’re having a family cookout tomorrow. I knew you’d freak out, so I didn’t want to tell you until you were stuck here.” He smiled mischievously, and I really wanted to punch him. He knew I was nervous enough about meeting his immediate family. I couldn’t handle the extended family.

  “Yes, I will freak out, and you didn’t give me adequate time to freak out prior, so now I have to do it in front of everyone.”

  “Baby, there’s no reason to freak out.” His hand covered mine, pushing my hair back behind my ear, knowing it was what I did to calm my nerves. “We have cookouts almost every time I’m home. It’s just my grandma and aunt and uncle and cousins.” Like that wasn’t a lot of people.

  “Everyone is thrilled to meet you. You have nothing to worry about. Stay away from Grandma, though. She’ll only pressure you about marriage and kids, and not necessarily in that order. She’s not opposed to a shotgun wedding,” Katie warned me.

  I blushed ten shades of red while Mrs. Jacobs scolded her daughter then said, “But honestly, dear, do stay away from her.” Everyone laughed.

  The rest of the night I spent with Lily, hoping to spare the family my continual embarrassment. Plus, when a four-year-old asks you to play “Princess and Dragon” with her, you oblige.

  Ben eventually interrupted us. It had been a long three hours, better than any workout at the gym if my sore muscles were any indication. My tiara had fallen off, and the pink fuzzy boa was strangling me.

  “Alright, princesses, time for bed.”

  “She’s a princess, I’m a dragon!” Lily insisted before roaring, which I knew meant she was blowing fire across the kingdom. I’d learned a lot.

  “That she is,” Ben agreed, leaning in to kiss my cheek and pulling the fuzzy boa from around my neck. “But even dragons need their beauty sleep if they’re going to continue terrorizing t
he kingdom tomorrow.”

  Her forehead crinkled as her little four-year-old brain processed his words. After determining he must be telling her the truth, she walked over and raised her arms up toward him. He hoisted her up as she laid her head on his shoulder. Grabbing my hand, he led us into the little room she usually slept in when she stayed over.

  “What story do you want to hear, Lilybug?” he asked as he tucked the blankets in beside her. “Dr. Seuss or A Bad Case of Stripes?”

  Her face scrunched as she thought hard about her options. “Can’t you make one up this time, Unkee Ben? You make up the best happy ever afferts.” I was pretty sure my heart was in a puddle on the floor.

  “Sure, Lilybug. I’ve got a good one for you. There once was a princess who lived high in a castle that always smelled like cinnamon rolls.” I caught Ben’s side-eye, not sure if he was referring to Lola’s. I found out with his next sentence. “She had long dark curly hair, just like you.” Or me. “She was beautiful, the most beautiful girl in the whole kingdom.” That didn’t sound like me. “She was more than her beauty, though. She wanted to change the world.”

  Ben’s eyes never met mine as he continued spinning a tale of the beautiful princess. Lily peppered him with questions until her little eyes got heavy. Hers weren’t the only ones. The next thing I knew, Ben was lifting me into his arms, his smell enveloping me.

  “Long day?” Ben smiled when he realized I was awake.

  “Where’s Lily?” I murmured sleepily. The last I remembered she had been slaying the dragon with a rubber sword to save the princess (me), and Ben was telling the story of the beautiful princess who sounded very similar to a fairytale version of me.

  “Tucked in tightly down the hall. You wore her out.”

  “I think you have that backward.” I yawned, cuddling into his chest.

  “Let’s go to bed, princess.” I let him pull me to my feet and half carry me up the stairs. The bed was calling my name, and snuggling with Ben was the perfect end to any day.